How to stay immune to ‘black magicians’
The two options I offered to the thieves on our campsite
Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash
So, my kids and I headed out for a camping trip last week to a beautiful island in the North of Friesland. We went camping without any facilities like water and electricity.
The weather was far from perfect, except for some occasional sunbeams in the morning. Gusts, heavy showers during the day and storms at night brought us a challenging setting to what was supposed to be a sunny week of the summer holiday.
On the beautiful campsite, we could charge our phones in the toilet block close by. It was our only option on the campsite and it worked pretty well.
Until last Friday night, our expensive power bank and even more expensive charger got stolen.
I felt the frustration from my kids. We talked about it. Of course, it is just material, but the feeling of injustice was taking over our positive vibes. How can someone be so rude?
We decided to let it go by applying the 5-minute rule: “during 5 minutes everybody is allowed to complain, regret and talk shit about it”. After 5 minutes, we decided to let it go.
To celebrate our last night at the island, we had booked a table at one of the beach clubs. When we were entering the beach club something magical happened. There was a table facing our table with 17-year old boys and a mother and father. Whilst getting seated, the boys acted nervous when we found out our stolen goods were plugged into the wall to charge their phones.
My youngest had to go for a pee, so I decided to accompany him to the restroom. When we got back to our table, the faces of my 2 oldest were as red as a tomato and told me: “They just unplugged our charger and power bank and put it in the bag of their mothers.”
I felt angry too and decided to use this moment to teach my children a lesson. It was hard at that moment in time, because my factory setting is to master those situations with shock and awe.
I moved over to the table of this family and told the mum and dad of the boys that I had two options for them. The first one option I offered was to return our stolen goods to our table during dinner and make up for the missed movie night the evening before and the drama. The other one was to just keep it. If they think they have more rights to own it than we do. I asked the parents to discuss it with the boys and to come clean.
Ten minutes later, the father got to our table and told us they did not have our charger and power bank at all. He lied to us in the face one of the other guests overheard the conversation of him that he did not know what to do with this situation.
After that, they started to provoke us by showing us their empty bags and laughing out loud.
I enjoyed this specific act of lying because it was so obvious. The more they were acting like morons, the more I felt in control. My kids felt in control. We laughed about it.
Honesty is a great good. Being honest could save the poor boys. But I can not blame them. They were born and raised with different values and ethics: 'Black magic behaviour' like lies and betrayal. I feel sorry for them. The situation transitioned into something valuable, an important lesson for my children.
The biggest win is to not take it personally. We are just a random family. It can happen to anyone.
Secondly, they are black magicians bringing negativity to our table with their lies and actions. We were staying immune because we offered them a choice. We decided to not trigger their behaviour. We were in control.
The good thing about this situation was that it created perspective: of course, you have people deciding to walk a different path. That’s okay, but stay ‘above’ shit like this. The lessons for us and the support from people offering their help is more important than the boys preparing for a criminal career. I hope there is someone who will hold a mirror in front of them sooner rather than later. They deserve it!