How my bus of the past brought me happiness in the present

When a fallen entrepreneur travels back in time

Happiness is a great good. It means different things to different people. For me it is now something really simple, but it took me a while to discover the real meaning of happiness in my life.

Waking up recharged with your beloved ones, kids that fall asleep in your arms and enjoying helping others make better decisions in life. Doing stuff that makes your heart feel warm. A smile on your face. Positivity in your veins.

For years I have been living with a different meaning of happiness. I was addicted to the ‘success rat race’ in business. That a thriving business with scale and renowned international clients, a fancy car, preferably more, would allow me to reach a higher level of happiness. To be able provide extreme wealth to my friends and family.

Until in the summer of 2018. I went down after a fierce and nasty fight. I lost myself already months before and became part of a pinball game that went sour. This inevitable ‘frontal crash’ made me lose everything that was special to me: my home, my children, my company ‘baby’, my dignity and the most amazing colleagues that I could wish for. My statue was torn down. 

After a while, when the consequences of the crash became concrete, I had to sleep under the bridge and file for debt recovery at the municipality. I struggled with extensive drinking, drugs and hanging out with fake friends. Just to mask something and surpress my emotions.

It has been very hard and I was part of a living nightmare. On a daily basis, I even questioned myself if it was better to just step out of the game, for good. Despite this impossible outlook, I kept pushing and searching for points of light.

During a rainy December morning, I took the bus to the trainstation and I realised that the last time I took the bus was in my early twenties. In the first few minutes after the bus drove away on the bumpy countryside road, I felt like a loser because of my new status. I was ashamed.

It smelt musty and the floor was slippery. Until I saw a couple of young children boarding the overcrowded bus. They were smiling and loudly talking to each other about their classes and plans for the day. It made me instantly think of myself 20 years ago.

I thought about my childhood. Being happy and raised by beloved parents in a safe environment. As an 18-year old I was ambitious and could make just anything happen. Well, I had empty pockets back then, but that did not withhold me to follow my dreams and to discover my talents.

This bus ride made me travel back in time and I realised there were similarities with my past. I coincidentally noticed what I have already been able to do in my life. I remembered my conversations with my grandfather when I was 10 years old. Literally all of the plans I shared with him have become reality. My last 20 years could have been the script of a ‘Forrest Gump’-like movie. No joke.

The moment I stepped out of the bus, the sun started to blind my eyes and the wind blew in my face with fresh air. I realized that I learned something really special in these few minutes. Life can be extremely cruel, but it always provides you with your personal life lessons along the way. Even when you are ‘travelling’ on a long bumpy road.

This particular bus ride made me realise what I still had, my kids, my friends, my talents and most importantly being healthy. Think about what you have been able to achieve already in life. Just realise what you have, not what you don’t have or had in the past. Feel your heart warming up and think about what makes your heart beat faster. Like when I was 18-years old. That’s true happiness and the drama on the side is just relative.